Peter Coates
2 min readJun 26, 2024

--

Yes, it's always wise to run from people like that. They don't improve under pressure. But I would like to throw out one thing. I'm a six-foot-four inch, 240 pound man with a big head. (Possibly in both ways, but I mean actually, physically, large.) I've often found people reacting to me in ways that look from behind my eyeballs as wildly inconsistent with what I'm feeling. I could be in a coma and a significant percentage of people would report that I was acting aggressively. I'll see someone look up from their phone while walking, see me, and physically react with fear you can see. I often see people do things in meetings and conversations that would result in a visit from the police if I did the exact same thing, banging the table, raising their voices, etc. All that is completely off limits for me. And in the opposite situation, a lot of guys like me will tell you that they are exhausted by smaller men behaving aggressively toward them, to prove something to themselves. It makes you a lightning rod for sparks from women as well. I was walking up the street once in NY, wearing a business suit, when two uber-hipster women approached coming in the opposite direction. They were absorbed in talking and didn't see me until the last minute. When one of them looked up and saw me, she instantly raised a palm toward me and said "Ewww." From just three or four feet away. Who knows exactly what I symbolized for her, but her instantaneous reaction, faster than thought, was purely hateful. Almost every aggressive asshole I've ever met was a small man with an attitude. If you look around at the big guys, you'll find that most are almost exaggeratedly gentle and unaggressive in demeanor precisely because their physicality carries such a message. I guess what I'm trying to say is, we all tend to react to very superficial things and make often unwarranted assumptions about people.

--

--

Peter Coates
Peter Coates

Written by Peter Coates

I was an artist until my thirties when I discovered computers and jumped ship for a few decades. Now I'm back to it. You can probably find some on instagram.

No responses yet