Yes, I can see that it's an important event, and upsetting. But for myself, the idea of taking on the burden of two other people's actions toward each other in a long term or permanent way seems strange. Even to allow unfortunate events that one is directly affected by to to take up permanent residence in one's outlook seems questionable. For example, say one was directly involved, e.g., found the record of one's own spouse's infidelities, or even caught the spouse "in flagrante delicto." Whether the outcome was forgiveness or divorce, what would be a reasonable amount of time to allow it to remain a major part of one's own emotional life? A year? Two? Even after the death of a spouse, unless the survivor is very old, life starts to move on in about a year. For the infidelity of a spouse to hamper one's emotional life for longer than that, for me, would be excessive. I can't imagine letting other peoples infidelities dominate my life long term.