Peter Coates
2 min readDec 6, 2024

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I'm always surprised at how accepting people are of the idea that the classic, hyper-masculine bro character one reads about is normal. I'm 70, and have spent a lifetime around all kinds of guys--working men, office workers, knowledge-workers, gay, straight, etc. I've known very few of these caricature-of-masculinity guys, but they're pretty rare. The famous "locker room talk" must happen in other locker rooms--I've heard almost none of it, and the kind of talk you hear about would be considered weird and in embarrassingly bad taste in most athletic environments. I've known a couple of bonafide criminals who have some of these characteristics, and some teenagers, but relatively few men act like this even in high-school or as undergraduates, and only a minute percentage afterward. I haven't heard a man brag about his penis size or mock another man's size since junior high school. I can't recall hearing a grown man mock another man for failing to measure up in the domains mentioned. This bro boogieman is almost entirely a media figure in the overwhelming majority of social circles. When you read a description like this (and they're everywhere) try to actually picture someone you know, or have known, who's like this. These traits are widely despised and indeed, mocked by 90% of men. Even the idea that the hyper-masculine, hunting, fishing, second-amendment guys are like this doesn't hold up for me. There's nothing wrong with being into sports, hunting, MMA, or the rest, and if anything, those hyper-masculine guys more often adopt the other cliches of masculinity. They're the guys who are most likely to run into a burning building or interfere in an assault. This whole anti-masculinity thing is media bullshit.

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Peter Coates
Peter Coates

Written by Peter Coates

I was an artist until my thirties when I discovered computers and jumped ship for a few decades. Now I'm back to it. You can probably find some on instagram.

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